Hey Post-Grad Girl,
Nobody talks about how disorienting it feels to graduate and suddenly not know who you are anymore. One day you’re defined by your major, your friends on campus, your routines — and the next, it’s just… you. No syllabus, no direction, just a wide-open question: what do I actually like? Who do I want to be now?
This week, we’re diving into the psychology of that identity shift — why it feels so weird, how to start uncovering your sense of self, and the small steps you can take to figure out what fits (and what doesn’t). And because who you are shows up in how you move through the world, we’re also talking about tying your self-discovery into your style. Think: clothes as a reflection of who you’re becoming, not just what’s trending. ✨
Let’s get into it,
The Post-Grad Girl Team 🩷
✨Why Do We Feel Like We Don’t Know Who We Are?
If you’ve caught yourself thinking, “Who even am I right now?” since graduation… you’re not alone. And you’re definitely not broken — you’re human.
Psychology has a name for this: identity shift. For four years, your life was structured around classes, a social circle within walking distance, clubs, parties, professors, and deadlines. You had a built-in identity: college student. But the second you walked across that stage, that structure disappeared. Suddenly, you’re left with more freedom than ever… and more questions than you know what to do with.
Here’s why it feels so weird:
Loss of structure: Without the built-in routines of school, you’re forced to create your own rhythms — which can feel overwhelming at first.
Shifting identity: You’re no longer defined by your major, your GPA, or your campus crew. Who you are is up to you now — and that’s equal parts exciting and terrifying.
Comparison overload: Social media makes it look like everyone else transitioned seamlessly, which can amplify the “why don’t I have it figured out?” spiral.
Psychological limbo: Developmental psychologists call this stage “emerging adulthood” — a time when identity exploration is at its peak. Translation: you’re supposed to be figuring it out, not already have it done.
Confessions of a Post-Grad Girl 💌
݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁·ꕤ Finding your sense of self ꕤ·..˖. ݁⊹ ݁₊
Graduating from college isn’t just a transition financially and socially; it’s also a huge personal transition. Think about it, you just went from being a student— which for the most part is all we’ve known for the last ~22 years of our lives— to being… a normal person? A non-student?... an adult? Who are we now?
Figuring out who you are as a post-grad girl is an interesting journey in and of itself. And to be honest, I can’t give perfect advice because I’m currently in the middle of it. I think one of the biggest hurdles to finding your sense of self is learning to be alone. College is one of those places that allows you to find community no matter where you are: the dining hall, the library, the quad, class, clubs, anywhere. There are infinite opportunities to be surrounded by people, and if you think about it, college is one of the last places you’ll live where all of your friends live in proximity to each other with everything you need within walking distance. I think a phenomenon that happens to several people is that in the midst of constantly being surrounded by people, you forget who you are. At least, that’s kind of what happened to me.
♡ So step 1 of finding yourself would be: Learn to be by yourself.
Learn who you are when you aren’t constantly entertained, distracted, and surrounded by people. Let your thoughts flow and find ways to enjoy your alone time! 🧘♀️🧠
♡ Step 2: Find your hobbies!
Recognize the hobbies you had throughout college and see how they translate into your post-grad life. If you played a sport, try finding an adult league you can join! Any art classes you took🎨? Find some art studios near you! Also, if you have any hobbies you’ve always wanted to try but couldn’t because of classes/ finances, now is your time to try!
Now is the period in your life when you lean into the things that call your name. Get out of your comfort zone, try new things, and meet new people. Now is the most important time for building your new community of young adults and professionals who share your interests, instead of being limited to those in your classes. Being post-grad gives you so much space to change, grow, and learn about yourself and the life you want to live. Embrace it! 💕
Tying Sense of Self Into Your Style <3
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, human fulfillment unfolds in five ascending stages: from the basic quest for survival to the pursuit of self-actualization. At its core, the framework maps the way we move through life: first securing our foundation, then seeking safety, connection, confidence, and finally, authenticity.
But what if we looked at style through the same lens? What if our wardrobes, like our lives, were built on layers of need, desire, and self-expression? At its most basic, style begins with utility, the sweater that keeps you warm, the shoes that get you through your long a*s commute. But as the hierarchy rises, fashion becomes less about protection and more about identity.
Here’s the thing about the pyramid: each stage builds on the one before it. According to Maslow, love and belonging—genuine connection with ourselves and others—has to be fulfilled before we can even reach higher levels like esteem. If we look at fashion through that lens, it’s clear: chasing trends, logos, or status symbols without first grounding ourselves in authenticity only leaves us feeling disconnected from ourselves.
True style starts with belonging, with finding inspiration in our environment, our communities, and the parts of ourselves we want to amplify. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing if you don’t feel at home in your own skin.
What We’re Wearing 💞
PGG’s Meet: Susmie’s
Susmie’s is a women’s jewelry and accessories brand founded in Barcelona in 2021 by Marina and Laia. The idea sparked during a trip to Nepal, where they met a young girl named Susmita whose story left a lasting impression—so much so that her name became the heart of the brand.
What sets Susmies apart is their genuine connection with their community. Rather than curating a picture-perfect facade, they share organic content that reflects their lifestyle and day-to-day moments. Their brand philosophy is all about breaking free from monotony, encouraging women to trust themselves, and embracing joy in the everyday. For Marina and Laia, Susmies isn’t just about jewelry—it’s about creating pieces that inspire confidence, playfulness, and fulfillment.
And let’s talk about the pieces themselves, Susmie’s is all about originality. A lot of their designs are reversible, which basically means you’re getting two looks in one and as baddie ballin’ on a budget, sounds like a good deal to me. 🙂↕️
Check out some of their pieces!
What We’re Listening To 🎙️
In such a tumultuous era of our lives, we need music that calms us down. Lately, I’ve been listening to female R&B singers, because nothing calms me down more than some soulful soothing voices. Personally, I love Ms. Lauryn Hill. Who do you like to listen to? 🎶 ✨ 🫂💕
Until next time,
Because life after college deserves a group chat. ⭐️